Moab  1998

Well, I'm finally back from the sweetest trip ever. The people, trails,town and every aspect of it was just too awesome to explain.

First off, I would like to thank Bart for leading our group all week.  The  guy is just a really super person to be around and that's all there isto that; took care of our group like a mother hen.

The group that camped with us at Slickrock was just a total blast to be around.  Most of the J-Lers were only there for one night and I reallynever saw them again.  Prolly a good thing too, because there were quitea few of us and in one group it may have been too much to handle. Our specific group consisted of:  Bart, Andi, Marsha and Marion for a while, Scott and his Brother Russ, Dave and Pam, Mike Simpkins, Mike (Scooter) and family, Kevin the reporter type...heh heh!!!  Joel hung out with us in camp, but I never wheeled with him. Ken, Barts friend, and maybe a possible future candidate for Jeep-l, I understand, and his outstanding family in an XJ.Met a few other "Eller's" at camp, too. Tom Z., Eric Denning and his better half and, oh hell! There were a ton of them there the first night. Sorry if I missed anybody.

 The trip there was pretty much uneventful. Mike Simpkins and I caravaned.
 I'll mention some highlightes that will have relevance later. The trees were just starting to turn and it was pretty colorful coming over the mountains from HWY 15 until you drop into the valley floor.  When we got there, I pulled into my space and discovered that the key was turned one knotch too far and in that position for three days.  Yes, you can burn twin Optimas down. This was just the first of some pretty bizarre happenings all caused by me this trip.  Hahahaha!!!! Hey! Ya got to keep it moving, ya know!!!!  Anyway, we finally got Pokey to spark to life and in five minutes the 160 amper flashed them baby's up to full snuff.

Went on down to the cabins to shoot the shineola with some ellers and right in the middle of one of my tremendous lies some guy in the cabin next to Joel's yells "SHUT UP"!!!!  It was kind of funny, but if I had known some of the people standingaround a little better I'm afraid I might have been a little rude.  After all, it was only 9:00 PM.  Oh yeah, then I adjusted my watch to
 Utah time, 10:00 PM...heh heh! I gave that one to him and it wasn't long before some of us moved on up to our camp.  Then, the camp host came over and asked us to keep it down.  That didn't work, of course, so they nevermentioned us being loud again.  The next morning, I'm thinking of this guy telling me to shut up and I'm getting more pissed off about it everysecond.  I'm up real early and waiting for him to come out of his cabin so I can give him the what for.  He does!  He's at least 85 and his 90 year-old wife is helping him to the bathrooms across the way. Hahahaha!!!  I'm so stunned all I can think of to do is yell, "HEY! WHERES THE FIRE!!!!".  Heignores me of corse, thinking me a young whipper snapper from California, nodoubt!  Boy am I glad I didn't react the night before.  That would have beenjust too embarassing to have some 85-year old guy come out and slap the fat off my face for being rude.

So, then it's Golden Spike Trail Day and Bart is leading us all out to the trail.  Our group consisting of the people I've already mentioned and the rest of the eller's going in the opposite direction to meet us at the Golden Crack, or whatever the heck that big gap is called they made me cross.

 I'm starting to realize that Pokey is acting a tad spooky on the stair steps.  Raising tires quite a bit and surging like hell whenever in a vertical position.  As you will soon find out I should have stopped right there and made some major adjustments.  It was quite fun lifting the tires, however, and I figured, what the hey!  I can drive through anything.  It was really getting hairy in a couple of spots though. I knew that I had some problems but, considered them minor at the time.  The reason I'm telling you this is because maybe you will be more cautious than I and avoid the mishaps I experienced from being over confident with jeep and driver.

The load I usually carry is pretty massive for rock crawling.  Parts, etc.,you know! I have a cooler on the back way aft of the spare that weighedabout 60 lbs.  The rack and a full front end assembly axle shaft, hub, rotor all behind the tail gate.  Now, this is usually not a problem for most of the trails I travel, but it was becoming very evident that it could be on these trails. They aren't trails where you lay it on it's side and go on.  There are places there that you roll your toast!!!!!!  Still, I neglected to shift
 loads letting the tires get way up there; thought it was cute for the most part.

Well, we get over to the crack and here comes the jeep-ler's.  We've already been over and back so we wait until they all get across.  Bart gives us all a 6' in the air photo shot of his XJ.  I kept picturing Garner straddling that crack and thinking that it's possible he's been sniffing too much alfalfa-sprout dust.  It isn't that bad, but as it gets going up it gets deep. Hahaha!!!  Mike, you nutz dude!!!!

 I was impressed quite a bit by Scott's brothers Russ' Rover.  He's an excellent driver and the truck performed a lot better than I would have suspected. Saw some good driving over the crack by eller's too.  Tom's grand did real well.  Never would have guessed something that big could even get up there, let alone do some of the stuff I saw it do.  Get a lift and have at it, Ms. Vicky!  Those baby's work off road!!!  Oh yeah!  Scott and his brother are two of the nicest guys around too!  A real pleasure to talk with and just a couple of really decent guys all round.  Thanks for the beer too, Scott.  It was tasty.

 Well, we all seemed to get parted again on the way out. A lot of the guys were camping and I didn't see them again because they left the next day, I guess.

 I was experiencing some drastic driving problems w/Pokey, as I said. I finally adjusted the load of the cooler to behind the seat and off of the rear rack. That was a great improvement to be sure. Every time I got the front end up it would surge like hell so I finally disconnected the thumb throttle.  Figured that was flexing the throttle some under load because the tranny was out and it might have gotten put back on in a shortened position. Well, that wasn't the case at all.  It was the darn welder throttle cable
 that was either hooking up on a bolt on the frame, or I just adjusted it too tight before leaving home.  Didn't take the time to readjust it (remember this if your running a remote throttle!) because, as I said I figured I could drive through any kind of problem.  I don't know how many timesI've posted that there is no place in wheeling for ego, but I wish I had followed my own advice on the next trail.

Bart takes us to Moab.  Aileen isn't going so Gilbert jumps at the chance. Say's he's doing an article in the Netherlands and wants to ride in Pokey. Hahahaha!!!!  He got some article stuff, that's for sure!  Hey!  Had to show him a good time, didn't I??

 Anyway, the first 20 feet should have been a wake up call to dump the throttle altogether.  I figure the looks on Gilberts face are good enough to not sweat it at first. The the tires really started coming off the ground and at every obstacle I was going to get out and fix it.  Then, Bart says there's one more step (2' high) and we are at the top.  I'll just walk it on up and fix it there.  I admit that what we just came over was not a place to be half-assed set up.  If you go over there in the wrong place, your a memory and cat fish bait for what splatters off the road into the river.

 Well, I take the right line up the easiest part of the step figuring I ain'tscaring Gilbert much anyway.  I'm in compound low and my crawl ratio is all but cut in half because of the throttle.  The front end sticks in the air some as before, but this time the frame flexes so much that the last time I see the tack it's on 4 grand and climbing fast!!!!!

 As I was saying, heh heh!  All of a sudden the engine just takes off.  Big rev's in grandma on a stair step sucks big time, let me tell you. The truck sticks its nose straight up and just walks to the right into a hole.  I'm frantically reaching for the key and trying to push in the cluth to stop this obvious impending disaster.  Next thing I know I think all fours were in the air cuzz the rev's shot out of sight.  The jeep shoots up and does a 180 right on the top from mid air.  Another thing I've been putting off is a full on roll cage in this jeep.  Don't!  It's the most important thing on your truck. I have a double bar, but it didn't stop the windshield
 from crushing when it landed.

 Well, I got the key shut off, thank heaven, before Pokey blew up at least. Asked Gil if he was all right and he sort of says yes!  Hahahaha!!!  A bit squeemish at this point I'm sure; he's a brave soul though.  Didn't drop one single tear in my gear oil on the roof that at the time was directly beneath us.  I dropped out of by belt and we all had to hold Gil up while I crawled in and clicked his belt open.  He dropped like a sack of huckleberrys, but didn't break his neck.  Other than that, he seemed to be unscathed by the whole incident. Ironically, I'm the only one w/a winch.  Bart gets his XJ positioned to sort of anchor me so I won't keep rolling on down the dusty trail when righted.  Good thing he was anchored to me too cuzz when he got out of his truck it popped out of park (he say's) and went on a ride without Bart in it. Like I said it was roped to Pokey so either it wouldn't have gone far or Bart, Gil and I would have had to ride to the bottom in aBronco!!!!  Heh heh!!!!  It was quite comical watching him hanging onto the door jamb and running along trying to hold the truck back.  That was the only time I really thought someone could get hurt. The big ugly rock in front of it did a fine job of stopping it though.  At least, it wasn't his rear end that went south like we thought to begin with.

 So, Mike in the Bronco gets on the other side of me w/a connected strap and is going to pull me over. Remember, this is on the top of a step and one wrong move could have had us all wishing we had stayed home!  He almost rolls into my truck over the ledge too!  Man!  I could just see all three trucks piled up in one big shambles on that ridge. I knew it was funnier than hell, but figured I better not laugh about it.  Geez!  These guys are really anal about extractions, let me tell ya!  So, Mike finally rolls
 that baby over.  It starts right up after a few minutes and appears to be ok. The only fluid lost in prolly an hour on it's top is all the tranny oil and the washer fluid.

 Optima Batt's are the only way to go.  If I had been alone, I could easily have used the winch with these batt's even upside down.  Other things to have in place are your vent tube stops for the rear ends.  Never lost a drop. The gas rollover valves seem unimportant, but as you see they are the most important thing on the truck when it's upside down. Never lost one drop of
 gas. And, of course, the cage.

So, we proceed to go the last 100 feet to the rim and what a view!  Man, this place is the greatest!  Ken told me if we had more time that there were some fantastic canyons further down, but we opted to get down.

 Speaking of Ken, on Golden Spike I saw what I thought was a guy that was way too agressive a driver in a couple of things he was attempting.  I was really impressed with his good commom sense when on Moab rim he got off camber and freeked a little.  Said he didn't mind admitting it either. I don't blame him cuzz one wrong move here and your dead meat!  Seriously!!!!  He was shook up some until we got him level again and asked for spotters on all the obstacles thereafter, up and down. Because of his reasoning and good sense, I would wheel with and rely on him any time.  He came out unscathed, BTW.  He was right behing me when I did the tipsy thing, too!  So, I'm certain that wasn't much of a confidence builder.

 Of all the trails I saw there Moab rim is so far my favorite for many reasons. No, not cuzz Pokey took a dive either!  It's just absolutely fantastic in every way.  I think standing up there looking over the town was when I decided to buy some property there some some day. Next year, I'll be doing a little scouting for it when I'm there.  God most definitely created that country and he is obviously looking after the ignorant types such as myself so it looks like a summer home for us.

 Well, we all get back safe and sound and Andi goes into town and finds out that Moab 4x4 can get me a new winshield and glass the next day.  They do and I have them put it in.  Man, I wish those guys were located in San Diego. They really go way out of their way to help you. I can see why you said they were the tops, Mike. Anyway, I got old Pokey sutured together and we were back in business.  Thank's Andi for figuring it out and helping w/it. I appreciate it more than you know.  I wasn't looking forward to looking like a Hell's Angel without a helmet all week!  Heh, heh!!  Speaking of Andi, she has a most excellent Jeep and knows how to drive it.  And, most importantly, knows when to go around something that she doesn't feel right about.  I was impressed.

 So, the next day Pam and Dave show up in a sand-buggy-super-duper-swamperfied- killer-engined-fire-eating similarity of a Jeep.  As Keven said, the transformation his driving style and fine tuning of the Jeep took was wonderful.  Why, he could have climbed Mt. Everest by the time he left.  It was a real pleasure finally meeting both of them too!  Real nice people.
 Heck!  That new trailer is big enough to live in.  Nice set up all the way around. So, on Thursday, Dave, Kevin, Aileen, Pam and myself ventured out to do one of the biggest whitewater-rafting trips in the Northern Hemisphere.  So, it goes.  Kevin really does have a 52" chest and looked pretty funny with that vest on.  By the time it was all hooked up he had more chest hanging below the vest than he did under it.  The guide said if you went for a dip to just give a little push and the guy in the boat would yank you in.  No, we weren't all looking at Kevin when he said it either, heh heh!  Call me a dick head, will ya!!!  He's 52" all the way to his feet!!!!  It seemed just natural to place him in the front of the raft with Dave.  I can't even tell you what it looked like when them and the guide all disappeared into what the guide called "the wall".  I was so flipping excited I was clicking pic's with one hand and keeping a cig dry w/the other as Pam was sorta floating all over my head in full-flack uniform keeping me in the boat.  I think I sustained more injuries from her falling on me than when Pokey took a dive, heh heh!!  It was one of the most memorable things I have ever done in my entire life.  The
 beauty of the area, good friends and an excellent guide w/a great sense of humor and knowledge of the terrain.  If he didn't know what something was, however, it was always a flower, heh heh!!  I would suggest to any ellers that are attending next year to save your penny's and take this trip. It's fantastic as all get out.  Saw big horn sheep on the way, prairy dogs, and, ah, well the back of the guides head for an hour and a half.

 Speaking of Kevin, he seemed to be everywhere all at once; sightseeing trails all over the place.  It was great that he was conveying posts to Jeep-l as we went along.  He was a little harder to get to know than the rest, but I would consider him a friend now that I spent a week with him, and his driving ability was very much improved just over the short time I observed
 him.  His Jeep is very sweet, too.  He's a studier of all things and learns extremely fast.  I could see it from the trail in to the same trail out that he had learned quite a bit in a very short time.  Can't wait to wheel with him again. I was a little sad to hear that some of the ellers were pissed off and leaving again while we were gone.  Damn kids anyway.  Leave em alone for
 five minutes and they are squabbling like a hen house, heh heh!!!  It's like life boys!  It's all in fun.  Don't take it or yourselves too seriously and you'll have a lot more pleasure out of life.  Keep an even keel and go with the flow.  I love ya all and would hate to have to take another vacation to just show up and give ya all a good spanking.  So don't make me do it, ok?

 So, Aileen and I took a day off from wheeling. Those nut's were making us ride down the road with no windshield. Geez! It fricken rained on us too!  Hahahaha!!!  Anyway, we got to go see the way cool car show thanks to
 Marsha and Marion cluing us in on it.  Was supposed to meet Kevin there, but he got waylayed with some local historian, no doubt. The cars were very cool and the announcer said three times bigger next year.  Didn't get to see Marions car there, but he was nice enough to bring it to Slickrock and let us all drool over it.  I'm pretty sure he wants me to have that engine in
 Pokey, too, heh heh!!!  Saw Marsha's Jeep and it's a real humdinger. Cripes,it was prettier than poor Pokey for crying out loud!!!  Marions new TJ was, well, you all know how cool they are right out of the package. I wonder if he liked driving it or his hot rod better??????? We had a great time getting the window, etc., replaced.  While waiting we witnessed a massive amount of the coolest collection of Jeeps I've ever seen in one place. That Mag guy Phil something or another showed up with the most built TJ I've ever seen. Hahahaha!!!  He spent some time looking Pokey over too!  Glad he didn't have a camera.  Pokey wouldn't like that at all.  After we finally got that done and Aileen maxed out all the cards buying shirts, etc., we decided to eat lunch at a micro brewery.  I ordered the-super-duper-double-throw-me-down-dark-ale-stoutmalt-liquor-kick-ya-in-the-pants version.  Then bought a gallon of it with a cool holder.  Hahahaha!!!  Man, if we didn't look like Ma and Pa Kettle going down the road in Poor Pokey with rags and torn pieces hanging from the top I don't what!!!!!!  Afer a gallon of the stout,I didn't particularly give a flying doo doo what anybody thought anyway!!!

So, the next day (I'm prolly mixing the days up some, but hey!) Bartimusdecides to take us on a little trip to, well, Lions back and Potato Salad hill is over there.  You guys know that have been there.  The guy that won the top truck challenge was at Potato salad and took about 20 minutes to climb it.  Bart pulled up and did it in about 5 minutes in his usual smooth driving style.  I laughed my ass off.  Then, that stinking Bronco pulled up to it and aced it withough spinning a tire.  Hahahahahaha!!
 Jeep-l my ass!!!!!

Then, Bart takes us up some seemingly never ending steep rock climbs. Aileen said it was the first time she had ever actually been afraid in my Jeep. It didn't worry me much until the lightening started flashing and I asked Bart if he had any idea what would happen to our massive traction if the rocks got wet.  Aileen and I are donning rain coats bythis time.  No top, no windshield.  Bart says he doesn't know, but lets get the hell outta there anyway!  I really didn't want to do those steep rocks when wet.  Thanks to Bart's excellent guidance we did eventually get out without having to climb any more.

 So, after we did Bump Stump, or something like that, I mean The T-Challenge guy did anyway.  Bart steps up to the plate and does it too.  Hahaha!! I think he worried that big shot because Bart was smoothing out all thewrinkles better than he was.  I was filming it all, BTW.  And, no I didn't even attempt it.  My rear end would have dragged big time and I'd still be there prolly as a new obstacle to climb.

 Bart sayz "well, hells bells fellers lets just pop over to Lions Back and do that"!  He says he'll do it if I ride up with.  I reluctantly agree and Gilbert and I both bail in.  Oh yeah!  The top truck guy vanished like a thin fart instantly at the mention of LB.

 We all go in there and I take camera in hand and Gil in the back seat.  I swear, nerves of steel them Netherland guys have!  We pull down and oh sheeeeeeeeite!  I'm already in such awe of this place I didn't think there was anything to get me much more excited. This baby is down right exciting!!!!  So, on the way up I asked Bart, who's paying very closeattention to where we are headed, if he remembered saying he wasn't going to climb LB with those big ugly patches on the side of his tire. Hahaha!!   He sayz, "well, we're doing it ain't we?"!!  Not exactly what I wanted to hear!  You feel like your in a damned plane up there.  Can't see much except what is directly in front on you.  So, then I start hearing some clunking noises coming from underneath.  I asked Bart, "Hey! What the hell is that noise anyway?".  He sayz, "Yeah, interesting isn't it?".Hahahahahaha!!!  By this time I can tell you I'm about to shit all over Lions Back so nobody will ever be able to drive up it again!!!! So, anyway, we proceed to the top.  Guess what?  There ain't no stinking top!!!  Ya just keep going.  Bart sayz, "get out and guide me so we can turn around". I am wayyy more happy to do that he realized. So, Gil is out there w/me and we are telling him to come forward. He don't believe us.  Back...Don't believe that either!  After about twenty back and forths we are pointing down.  Bart gets out and lets out a big war hoop!!!! I'm envisioning three days ago when his truck popped out of park.  He says, "Welp"!!!!  We decided we got Barts 4 dollars worth and headed down. Now heading up is one thing.  Going back down is just plain insanity. I start thinking that Bart has an auto. He's explaining to us where everybody that has died here went over the edge. I'm no longer seeing the humor in it. Heh heh!!!  Well, we finally and obviously get down as I'm on the CB telling Aileen where the life insurance papers are. It was just absolutely amazing. I don't care if I have 60" tires on Pokey next year, I just flat refuse to drive up that thing.  I mean when you consider the fact that the exciting part of it is that if you or your truck has a moment of nastiness you're history,It just ain't worth it to me. I may feel different next year,but I doubt it and ain't ashamed to admit it.  Heh heh! Hey! It was a whole week, ok?!!!!

 So, we get back to camp and go to some fancy-schmancy place to eat.  They were so impressed with our obvious superiority over the rest of their patrons they gave us a table upstairs all by ourselves.  We were honored, of course!!  We drank a little of the brewskie cuzz Bart was driving. When we were done we just crossed the street.  I was still worried about them damned patches myself, but we made it anyway.

 Well, I'm sure I missed a lot of stuff.  Especially bad stuff about me. Hehehehehe!!!  But, I'm more than sure you will all fill it in for me.

 On the way back we hit the same snow Kevin went up to see.  It was awesome. I fricking loved it.  While we were in Moab all the trees changed color and were the most brilliant colors I've ever seen. I mean it. It was so beautiful.

 Stopped at Mesquite and dropped another $150.00 about and had dinner. Slept for a couple of hours and that turned into until 10:00 in the morning. Mike had some pressing business at home so went on that night.  Aileen and I stopped at the border for lunch at Buffalo Bills and I aced em for $2300 and we hauled ass for home.

 Well, ladies and germ's.  That the way way I see it and I'm sticking to it. Hope ya liked the report.  As you all must have figured out I ain't no stinking editor of the local newspaper.  They wanted me, but I refused on the grounds that I don't think one of those guys can spell!  I read their paper once and sure enough, misspelled all kinds of crapola in there.

 Well, hope to see you all next year. Enjoyed seeing the ones I saw this year and hope to see more next year.

 Adios amigo's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Hey!  I forgot to mention meeting Joel.  Hahahaha!!!!!  He was kind of quiet at first.  Kept leaving and walking all the way back to his cabin for this teensy glass of wine.  Sheesh!  Hey! I didn't say a word.  After about 10 trips he comes back with a whole dambed bottle.  Yeha!!  He livened right up after that. I really liked him. I just wish he wouldn't raise that pinky finger when he's drinking that grape juice. Oh well, I'm quite sure he ate the glass by the time it was all over.  Never did get to wheel with him. He was hanging out with the washed version of jeep-l, I think, most of the time.

 Anyway, I had a blast w/ him as far as around the camp fire goes.  I was waiting for him to pass out so I could cut a few pounds of hair off his pony tail and super glue it to where God made room for another nose for
 me.  Problem is he put them both in the same spot, heh heh!

 Anyway, sorry Joel and anybody else I missed.  I'll tell it when I remember it as I go I guess.

 Bud

 
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