Jackhammer::::
So a few of us decide to go out and pre-run some trails for the three guys we have entered in the rock crawling contest in Nov. Brad and his brother Charles (the hairy one Kilby) meet me on Hwy 247 about 1:00 pm. We do the usual missed the frieken turn off a few times but eventually end up in Means dry lake bed. This is about a half mile from the imfamous Jackhammer/Sledgehammer/Sun Bonnett/Wrecking ball/Outer limits trails. Us three muskateers are the only yahoo's out there thur, so we decide to go run the dunes. Brad has his e-brake on a tad tight and tells me, hey! Come over here and feel this rim! I do, It's so hot I'm whimpering about it. Hahaha! The jerkoff! He loosens it and we mess around up there till dark. Hey! wheres the GPS? Back in camp he informs me. Don't you have yours. Well yeah! But the only coordinance on it is my house. should we drive 200 miles back there to find camp? Charles barks like a dog. Apperantly this is some kind of dissorder ,I ain't never heard of. whenever he thinks there may be a marble loose in the croud he barks. It's real as hell too! Had me practically jumping off the frieken dune thinking there was a bull dog out there and he was hungry. I fell for this many times that weekend. I mean till he turned into a bird! Yep Thats right! He does birds too for heaven sakes. He resembles Charles Manson quite a bit too! Did I mention that? guess not. All I could say when Brad came up to shake my hand with Charles in tow was---See you stopped by the penitentury on the way in!!! Hahahaha! It was taken in good humor though. I swear this guy is a riot. Maybe sometime I'll rent him from Brad.
Anyway we screw around on the dunes and impress ourselves avoiding even looking at those huge boulders we are going to be on the next day. After all I'm there to party not scratch the paint! We do finally wend out way back to camp where brad sets his strobe lite up. I say's--why the hell would you set that up now? Just in case he say's. Don't ask ok!
So anyway, Steve Friend shows up Friday morning and so does Bart Jacobs and he hauls Scott Phillips along with him. we all decide to go on a little run. There ain't no stinking little runs out there fella's. Even the little ones are big! So, we get out there after Steves GPS tells us where the hell it is. Starts up it and the fun began. Right straight up shelves with big nasty Pokey getting boulders seeking my paint job. yeah it tried but not a chance man! Then came the Kilby crew. Hahahaha! Man that just wasen't his day. He hangs up a mirror and pushes his dr in some. It pops out though so no biggie. I was spotting him too! heh heh! Steve and Bart seem to be doing real good and getting thier rock muscles going. Steves leading and Barts in the rear end. When asked why, he said he liked Pokeys rear end so there ya go! It was a good enough trail to get your curiosity up for the next day. I wanted to do wrecking ball but fortunitely the plans got changed to Jackhammer for Saterday. I'm glad it did too! It's frieky enough!!! So, we head for camp. there seems to be some lites on there. Yeah it's gaulderned dark again and no strobe. The closer we get the more it looks like theres someone there. who the hell can that be I wonder. Well, as I get into camp we discover Brett Cullpepper,Matt Brookins,Paul Nasvid and his brother and who the hells that other guy? I look closer. The e-mails are going through what mind I have left. It looks like, nah! It couldn't be! what the hell are you doing here I say's?? It was Mike Garner who wasen't even supposed to show up. Flew all the way to LA-X and rented a car and showed up without telling anyone. Hahaha! What a suprise that was. We all jumped up and down like a bunch of 3rd grade girls. Well they did anyway, I'm way to sufisticated for such things. Matt Osburn," Greengo" and Mark Alligood showed up a little while later. wow! What a bunch. Great group for such a thing. Paul ( Don't know his last name) Steves spotter showed up too! There ya have it! All the little ducklings in a row.
So were sitting there by the fire, I mean us men were, the girls
hit the hey early. And all of the sudden there was a huge crack and the
ground started to gyrate like hell. I'm the only one directly at the fire
at the time. Its about 2:45 AM. Next thing I know I'm standing up and trying
not to fall into the fire. I mean the ground was really cutting lose. Living
in Socal for 56 years I'm used to earth quakes but man we were really into
this baby. I was seriously expecting the ground to open up and have Budville,Pokey
and me for diner! Matt B kept yelling for me to step away from the fire.
I'm thinking---whats that gumba trying to save the fire for when I can't
even stand up. Well, I guess it looked like I was headed into the fire
to him. Hahahaha! Silly kid!!! It's flat as Twiggy's chest out there
for as far as you can see so there was nothong going to fall on me except
me far as I could tell. Garner gets out of the MH thinking we're out there
rocking the MH and say's--whats going on? Hahaha! He's from Iowa ya know.
We say's it's a dammed earth quake dude! His first and as we were to find
out later we were standing right smack dab on the epicenter. heh heh! It
was exciting as hell too! So Brett goes down to a space where the cell
phone worked and calls all out wives dogs mothers and anybody that would
answer. All in LA and San Diego felt it and were standing in thier yards
with cell phones in hand. Except, you guessed it. My wife! Said she thought
she heard the phone. Hah!
anyway we didn't know we were at the center of it and deduced that
if it was that bad there and it came from LA or SD they're prolly
wasen't an LA or SD. We're looking at the next days run thinking hmmmmm!
Maybe we can't go wreck cars manana. But as it turned out all was ok and
we were the only ones to suffer.
So the next day I'm sitting at the bottom of the beginning of this trail watching Brian Williams ( oh yeah he showed up w/Matt O.) Bang the doodoo out of his CJ. He still has that dammed bbd and it was causing him a record amount of trouble. He wisely decided to leave it at the entrance after 30 minutes of trying and we picked it up later. Boy was everybody glad too! He may not have known it but it would have been morning before we got him through that trail.
So next is Brett Cullpepper. I've never been on a run with him when he didn't roll. And he did right there at the entrance. Hahaha! Mike 4XDoctor (oh yeah! He showed up too on Friday sheesh!) hooked his cable to him and a new guy we met Jim Commerford latched onto the front of him and extracted him out of there. Wasen't all that easy cuzz his motor hydrolocked and it wouldn't start. He does these strange lines you see, to see if he can make it. Sometimes he does and some times he rolls. Yikes! We finally get him out of there and all the chickensh*t I mean sane guys take the right line. We catch up to the front of the group in about an hour, or thirty ft whichever. Ya see the trail ain't long, but it takes a little time in each section. I'm second to last in line. Bart and he and Mike Garner his spotter are practicing getting around for next months contest. In other words they went right on like the rest of us but with more class. Hahaha! It'll never sease to amaze me at how that XJ does over any terrain. Barts a fine driver and Mikes a fine spotter so I think they'll do good w/a little luck in Nov. Steve did his fine job and Brett also has an exellent chance. We'll see. I'll be there with my camara in any event.
So we are freighteng through the rock piles at about 20 ft a gallon and we crest the top finally. I'm glad cuzz it's getting late as hell. I look up this Lions back type ridge and Paul is sitting there. He's running around his jeep. I'm cringing at the thought of having to go up this loose as hell shale rock rim in the first place. And theres already someone hanging up there. Oh boy!!! So Steve comes back and they join winches and get him off the rim. Hahahaha! Its funny as hell!! While this is happening all the zebra boy's are running down the valleys looking for a way out. All of the sudden this huge huey hilocoptor comes flying by at eye level. It looks like a ww2 rig too! They wave, we wave and they proceed to do all kinds of wierd shit. Land, take off, zip by. sheesh! I'm thinking these guys are nuts. I'm sure they're thinking the same about us though so there ya go. Again!
Anyway, after all attempts at going another way fails, Hahahaha! We all head up that ridge and over. Steves there waiting and giving us a choice between a slow death or just drop off the other side into the wild blue yonder. Of which there wasen't much left of cuzz it was getting dark as hell.Yonder that is! I look down into the canyon and think, how bad can it be? Hahaha! It was a combonation of falling off the empire state with your head lites off and being re-married to your X!!
It was pretty interesting to say the least. It was dark. there were shadows and I'm not kidding 4' drop offs into a direct right hand into a straight up wall, around a jagged assed piece or rock and the reverse of that instantly. In other words it was totally bitchen. I don't usually like spotters but was really glad to have one in a couple of spots. OOOOOOH! man it was dark!! It was a total blast though. Steve guided us back to pick up Brians jeep (and thank God he did or I'd still be looking for it) and we headed for camp to have diner and tell each other how brave we were. All the time knowing we were all crapping out pants the whole trail. Hahahaha! Oh! Except for me of course!!
Well nobody opted for a trail on Sunday so we all hooked em up and went home. Well Maybe I better tell you one more little anticdote before we depart. Mike Dunkun (4XDoctor) is quite the practical joker right! So he naturally has a tube of real smelling real looking Dog crap in his cool Tuffy center console. Well, it froze that last night and exploded the tube all over his camera,film sun glasses etc. Hahahahahahaha! Took him 5 gallons of water and 2 hours to clean it up. LOL! I bet when he walked in the house his wife asked him if he shit his pants on that trail. Oh man! It was funny as hell.
Injuries::::::
Pokeys right dog legged shackle got reversed and bent my bitchen National spring at a right angle for about 10". Hooke my winch up to Brads TJ and Barts up to mine and pulled that sucker right back down. The dammed spring went right back to it's original shape too. I was totally flabergasted. I love those Nationals man! They are worth the money if you can afford them. Stick in left front BFG in the side wall. It's toast. Nothing else of consiquense. Matt O. got two flats but otherwise servived very well with some very fine driving. Bart as far as I know escaped injury altogether except for a little scrape on his dr on Sun Bonnet. Jim had the same spring thing and so Did Mike 4Xdoc. What was it about that spot anyway?? No real damage except a few tires in the whole group far as I know.
It was a great trip and it was with some very good friends. Exellent drivers and spotters and all in all a super bunch of guys to be with.Oh yeah and one girl. "Fabulous" the guys called her. Don't know her real name but she was down there with Jim.
End of story!!!!
Bud Boren